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Posted on April 1, 2006 by Deon Melchior | Posted under   Dating


26. Role of Family in Dating



Although the meaning of the word family is understood, it still is fairly broad as it
doesn't describe the varying relationships that people often have with different family
members. The extent of those relationships, how close you are to family members and the
significance of the role they play in your life, will also determine the role family
members play when you are dating someone.

Family is an undeniable extension of yourself. You can't escape them. That
means that you have to acknowledge and accept the fact that you likely will always have
some connection to them. When you are dating someone, it therefore means that if your
dates progress to something serious, you will likely have to introduce your date to your
family. You have to make sure therefore that you are totally comfortable with the person
and that you are ready for them to meet members of your family.

You don't necessarily have to wait until you have developed a serious bond with
your date however, to make some introductions. In considering the best way to introduce
the person, maybe you could start with those family members with whom you have the
closest relationship and get their opinion about your date. This is a good way to gradually
bring your date into the fold of your family and to also have a few opinions you can
consider, before your date meets the entire family.

Before your date meets a larger number of relatives, you can also have some of
them - those who met your date, serve the purpose of mentioning and talking about your
date to others. That way, they will have an idea of what your date is like before the actual
meeting. If the family members to whom you first introduced your date liked him or her,
then they will also pass on those positive feelings to the others.

While you need to retain ties with your family, you also need to be independent of
them in the way you choose to live your life. That means that you can't let rules and
restrictions that family members may have or that you may have been subject to, be a part
of your life and have an effect on your dating relationship. You can't impose those rules
or restrictions on your date, unless it coincidentally happens to be things that you also
both favor.

This means that while you will try to accommodate your family and their wishes
at times, you should make what works best for you and your date the priority. That's
because you essentially no longer live with your family, but possibly may later have a life
together with your date. So, depending on how serious your dating relationship is, you
have to consider and incorporate your family and their wishes if you can, with care and
consideration for your date.

There may be times however when it may be best to not have your family play a
role in the relationship you have with your date. If you have a relationship with your
family that frequently involves disagreements and heated arguments, then it may be best
to simply inform them about your date but to not introduce the person to that
environment. That's because you may find that family members may say negative things
about you to your date and actually put your date in a situation where he or she is made to
feel as if you are a bad choice to have as a date. To avoid any such conflict and to avoid
making a bad situation worse, it may be simply best to keep your date away from your
family.

The important thing when it comes to your family and dating is to do take the
action that will retain the most harmony between you and your family and also with your
date.



About The Author:
Deon Melchior is the Editor and Publisher of Article Click. For more FREE articles for your ezine and websites visit - www.articleclick.com


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