A Marriage Crisis should Not Lead to Divorce Questions

A marriagecrisis isan alarm that strongly signals a warning that it is time to ask questions, butnot questions about divorce. Let lawyers and psychologists ask divorcequestions. You need to ask what you need to do so you have a happymarriage!

Questions youare probably asking:

1. Are my spouse and I evil people?
2. Are my spouse and I stupid people?
3. Are my spouse and I masochists?
4. Are my spouse and I meant to suffer? (Still, no!)
5. Are my spouse and I quitters?
6. Why can't we make our relationship work even though we love each other?

If you weretold to get in an airplane and fly it, I don't think you would attempt tounless you were a trained pilot. But when you got into marriage, you got intosomething that was way over your head because you had (have) no idea about whata marriage is or how to behave in one. Maybe when things were not going so wellyou got some good-intentioned advice from someone who had no business givingit; it's not your fault! Our culture is not supportive of relationshipeducation.

There is No School I'm Aware of that Gives Marital Training

When you weregetting close to driving age you made it a point to learn as much about drivingas you could and eagerly anticipated getting behind the wheel with a competentinstructor. If you were like virtually every other kid you started backseatdriving long before you ever drove for the first time, even if you didn't sayanything out loud.

Getting into acar is a pleasure when you know what you are doing, but it is downrightdangerous if you don't know or if you ignore the basic rules. It makes nodifference how slick or independent you are, if you try driving against atraffic light or on the wrong side of the road, it's going to hurt real bad.

Marriage is the same. If you know and follow the rules there is nothing onearth more wonderful. But if you never learn the basic principles that form andguide marriage, you are in trouble. You just need to know what those principlesare!

Western Psychologists don't Know Didily about Marriage; They GetDivorced like Everyone Else

In the divorceworld (where western psychologists are considered voodoo by most lawyers) psychologistsreally prove their fundamental ignorance. Their latest brainstorm for custodysolutions is called "nesting." Nesting is where the children don't gofrom house to house; the parents do! The kids keep their rooms and the adultsgo back and forth - very few parents like it but some get bullied into tryingit. They expect parents to move in and out of the family home so the children'slives are not disrupted. An idea like that is filled with seen and unseenproblems, but it demonstrates the greatest defect in psychologists' corevalues.

You see,contemporary western psychology is a tree of mostly pseudo (false) knowledgethat began with SigmundFreud; an avowed atheist and cocaine addict. The teachings of Freudianpsychology are essentially that man is psychological and material, that man'smind includes feeling and love, that God is nothing more than an abstractthought.

Topsychologists, because there is no God, a "soul" is what you find onthe bottom your foot. Therefore a building is a home because parents areinterchangeable psychological "parts" of a child's life. To them abiological parent is no more important than any replacement mother or father;they are wrong!

Man is Primarily Spiritual (Soul) who Has a Mind (Psychological)and Body (Material)

When we arecorrectly identified as Souls who have minds and have bodies we can definemarriage and proper interactions; not until. Once you understand the governingspiritual, psychological and physical principles, it is only a matter ofprioritizing the beneficial and destructive behaviors; like when driving,staying on your side of the road is a basic, obvious principle.

Before I wrote LessonsFor A Happy Marriage (which describesthe whole thing in simple terms), I worked with folks who believed they were atthe very end of their marital rope. But once they saw their marriage andthemselves graphically laid out before them they were completely certain theirmarriage would work; it's that simple and obvious. My clients didn't fail.

So, don't giveup. You just need to put your effort in the correct direction and everythingwill be much better than you have ever imagined, faster than you thoughtpossible. You deserve the best marriage on earth.