A Nine Step Guide to Getting Out of Divorce Unscathed

Although it may not be possible to go through a divorcecompletely unscathed, it is possible to get out without any permanent battlewounds. You just need to have a plan of action:

1. First of all, accept the inevitable. Divorce usually does not happenovernight. However, if you have tried everything and nothing has worked, thenperhaps it’s time to face the music. Once you accept that yes, divorce is imminent,then you can move towards getting to the other side.

2. Next, check your finances. You will needto look over your bank statements, tax returns, paychecks and other financialstatements to make sure you understand what’s going in and coming out. This isimportant for step #3.

3. Visit a divorce lawyer who can handleall the messy legal and financial issues that will plague the divorceproceedings. This will include custody of children, family support, division ofproperty and division of assets.

4. Next, make sure you rely on your supportgroup. Many women will try to tackle divorce alone; instead, take the supportthat your friends and family offer. Perhaps all you need is a shoulder to cryon or a best friend to bitch to. They are there for you.

5. Move on with your regular routine asbest as possible. Of course, a divorce is going to mess up with your schedule;however, it’s best to try and live as normal as possible, especially if thereare children involved. Go to work, cook dinner, meet friends for movies, go tothe gym, take the kids to school- life doesn’t stop just because your marriage has.

6. Take care of yourself. Divorce can leadto extreme stress which is when most people will get sick, lose weight or gainweight. Through it all, try to eat healthy, drink plenty of water and get agood night’s sleep. Of course, this is easier said than done, but the lastthing you need on top of everything else is a weak immune system.

7. Sort out accommodation. Although manycouples will continue to live together during the divorce proceedings, it’sprobably best that one of you moves out. If this is you, then be prepared tofind a new place or live with family or friends for a little while.

8. Plan a schedule for the kids - if youhave children, then you need to be there for them, no matter what. They mostlikely have piano lessons, skating practice and soccer games to play. Do notneglect their activities just because you are going through this. Try tomaintain as much normality for the kids as possible. This will require workingtogether with your husband to arrange the best schedule.

9. Take the help you are offered. Peoplewill want to help you in any way they can. They may offer to take the kids fora weekend so you can have time to yourself, they may offer to cook meals whileyou meet with your lawyer, they may offer a shoulder to cry on. Let thosearound you in, and let them help.