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Posted on April 1, 2006 by Aelise Fisher | Posted under Home
Adoption
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Honesty is the best policy, especially in the case of adoption. A difficult thing to explain to a child is why their parents gave them up, but you may be asked that question. Most adoptive parents work hard to preserve their child's sense of worth by explaining to them that their parents couldn't, for whatever reason, 'take care of you as well as they knew you deserved, so they decided to let you be free to join a family who would be able to give you the love and care you need.' When your child points out that you don't look alike admit that he/she is right and ask how they feel about it. Kids ask different questions at different times in their life. Considering the child's feelings will help you understand what's really on the child's mind. Handling Bias and Prejudice- When children are seen as different, due to their family situation, the color of their skin or the slant of their eyes, can be bullied by other children. You are your child's first line of protection. Deal with bullying the minute it happens by talking to the teacher and the family of the bully. No child should have to tolerate being bullied. Help prevent bullying by actively letting your child's schoolmates understand how valuable the differences in your child. You may want to ask your child's teacher if you (or they) can present information about all of the different kinds of families as a special presentation in November, during National Adoption Month. The kids will learn that adoption is just one way that a family comes together, just like how two divorcees join their families or when a child goes to live at Grandpa's house. If your child is African, Chinese, or any other ethnicity you can teach his/her classmates all about their culture. Rebellion and anger- Your child may become angry about being given up by his/her biological parents, anger at you and your spouse for adopting him or her, anger at everybody because his life has challenges that others don't face. Though every situation is unique, you must try very hard to understand that anger and to not take it personally. Experiencing the Happiness- As an adoptive parent you may have challenges but you also experience the extraordinary joy of knowing that you chose to make a family with your child. Reach out and create friendships with other adoptive families. You'll realize that they are extra special because of the steeper path that they chose to climb to create their families and they cherish those families all the more for the extra pains it took to come together. NOTE: Use of this article requires links to be intact About The Author: Being the father of eight children, Chris Dunn likes writing articles on the topic of birth for his childbirth website. |
Tags: ADOPTING, PARENTS, ADOPTIVE FAMILIES, CHILDREN, FAMILIES, BULLYING, GIVEN UP, FEEL, DESERVED, DIFFERENT, EYES, TEACHER, CULTURE, ANGER, PERSONALLY, JO
