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Ezine ready page
Ezine ready page
Posted on November 28, 2008 by fin2000 | Posted under Success
Before you Give Advice
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Tread Carefully 1. Listen Well The issues may be more complex than they seem, and listening attentively will help give you a basis for better advice. More importantly, a sympathetic listener may be all the other person needs. Allowing people to unburden, air their anxieties, consider options and spot solutions of their own can be more empowering for them than imposing your solutions. And they're more likely to follow their own advice. 2. Get Permission Always ask whether the person has already thought of some solutions before giving advice. Say, 'How have you considered handling this?' If they are at a loss, add, 'Would you like to hear my ideas?' Even if the person specifically asks for advice, start by asking, 'What are your ideas?' 3. Empathize If you've experienced a similar situation, remember how you felt and what helped you. But everyone is different, so offer it as your subjective experience, not a one-size-fits-all solution. 4. Brainstorm The other person is in the best position to know what will work for them. Ask questions to help them to consider all the factors involved, and to weigh up all the alternatives. 5. Know your Limits To advise is to take the position of an expert, which can be unhelpful if you're not qualified, or dangerous if the advice is in specialized areas such as law, health or psychology. If in doubt, direct them to professionals. 6. Be Straight Are you genuinely considering the other person's needs, or projecting your own hopes, fears or aspirations onto them? Being seen as a person who can give advice is a very powerful position and may make you feel rather superior. Consequently advice can be a value judgment, and what has been right for you may not be right for the other person. Examine your motives: are you promoting a line that may benefit you in some way, perhaps by putting the other person in the same position as you? (If you're currently minus a partner, for example, could you be advising a friend to leave hers so she will share your lot?). Rather generate solutions together and discuss their various outcomes before deciding on a course of action. 7. Respect their Decision Only the person involved knows what's right for them, or what they're capable of so if they don't take your advice, accept it. But if following their own counsel could harm them or others (by perhaps not stopping drug usage, or committing a crime), contact the appropriate counseling services or authorities. About The Author: For more articles on sexual health subscribe to Sandra Prior's online newsletter at http://intercell.shacknet.nu. |
Tags: ADVICE, PROBLEMS, SKILLS, SENSITIVITIES, BENEFITS, PEOPLE, FEELINGS, CONTROL, RELATIONSHIP
