Causes of Divorce

When I began my research into what I needed to know in order to help people have a happy marriage one of the first things I looked for were the actions that lead to unhappiness. Still my simple idea was, and still remains, if you are doing everything right the wrong things don't have time to slip in.  If your behavior is right on, and I don't mean perfect, your marriage will be happy beyond anything you ever imagined.  God didn't invent marriage to be a nest of troubles and problems.  He invented marriage to be a safe haven from a very pressure filled and troublesome world.  He helped you find your spouse so you could grow from the positive aspects of your relationship, so you could nurture His children (your family) in a loving and safe environment.  God wants you to be happy in your marriage but when you break the basic rules of behavior it is impossible to have anything but suffering as a result.  Do everything in your power to create a happy marital environment.

Naturally there are good causes for divorce.

 If one spouse becomes psychologically unstable to the point where they are capable of violence but is not willing to face the reality of their psychological problems, a period of separation only makes sense, and may lead to divorce.

If one spouse is consistently destructive and refuses to change it is possible the threat of divorce may get them to take responsibility for their actions.

If one spouse hid a very important fact until "later" it is reasonable for the other spouse to consider divorce.  There is no reason for instance for a woman to spend the rest of her life with a gay husband.  Nor should a man feel obligated to spend the rest of his life with a woman who hid a drug addiction from her husband.

Prior to having children there are a greater number of legitimate causes for a divorce.  When couples don't have children yet but have discovered things about their new spouse that are very difficult for them to live with the door to freedom should open much easier.  Children are the greatest cause for making your marriage the happiest marriage on Earth.  Don't be fooled by those who say the kids will adjust.  Regardless of why you get a divorce, whether it's a "legitimate" reason or not, your kids will suffer tremendously.  That is why I say it is important to let your children be the inspiration to make your marriage heaven on earth.  And don't forget to tell your spouse "I love you."