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Posted on February 16, 2008 by James Walsh | Posted under Divorce
Divorce: A Decision Not to be Taken Lightly
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True, there are many compelling reasons for filing for a divorce. Your partner may beat you or your children ruthlessly. He or she may ridicule or humiliate you in front of your friends or in social gatherings and compromise your social status. The partner may try to dominate your life completely, requiring you to take permission before doing every little thing. He or she may criticise you constantly until your self-esteem and self-confidence are destroyed and you are reduced to a nervous wreck. There may also be an extra-marital affair involved that ruins the mutual trust that is the bedrock of every marriage. A partner may also desert or abandon you and your children and just disappear or start living with someone else. In these cases, you have no option but to go for divorce and salvage your life from the debris of a ruined relationship. When you divorce, your life does not remain the same. It may turn for the worse or for the better. The outcome depends on how smartly you are able to face the challenges your divorce throws at you. Child Custody Who will your children get to live with after divorce is a very important question haunting legal proceedings. Usually, children get to stay with the mother while the father is required to pay her a monthly maintenance to take care of the kids and meet her day-to-day expenses. This is because staying with moms is considered essential for a healthy emotional development of children. However, there are many cases where the father may be assigned child custody. When you go for divorce, keep in mind that there is a strong possibility you may not get child custody and mentally prepare yourself for the eventuality. Maintenance After divorce, there is a financial setback for both the partners. Wives who are home-bound earlier now find that they have to earn money to feed their children. They have to take up a job in a hurry. This raises additionally expenses in terms of hiring a baby sitter. Also, moms have to remain away from their children day-long. This imposes its own emotional cost on the relationship. If you are a father, then you better be prepared to part with a large chunk of your monthly income as maintenance to your wife. As long as your wife doesn't remarry, you have to keep paying her this money, even from your pension. Division of Assets Once you get a divorce, you just cannot keep all family assets to yourself. These have to be divided equally between you and your wife or husband. So you should prepare yourself for parting company with your cherished house, jewellery, bank deposits, car and even your favourite cat as your partner's claims to them may be accepted by the court. Apart from assets, liabilities have to be shared equally too, which will eat up a large amount of your money after divorce. If your family had taken a huge loan to renovate the house, you have to continue paying you share of the monthly instalments even if your partner has got its custody. Lack of Intimacy and Support After a messy divorce, you are forced to live alone for some time until you can find a new partner. This is the period when you feel lonely and depressed, especially if the terms of divorce have gone against you and you have lost a substantial amount of your hard-earned property. Things become worse when you have not got child custody. For sensitive or emotional people, these are dark years where they often lose all hope for life. You should have a strategy to cope with this period, such as doing Yoga, making new friends or taking up a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Single Parenting If you have got child custody after divorce, this brings its own challenges of single parenting. For women, life becomes tough because they are forced to take up a job. There is nobody to share their burden as they have to manage home and work at the same time. For men, parenting of children is even tougher. They find it difficult to come to terms with it and are quite clueless when it comes to bringing up daughters. About The Author: James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com |
Tags: DIVORCE, DIVORCE ADVICE, DIVORCE UK, QUICK, AFFORDABLE
