Divorce Counseling

The end of a relationship and a divorce normally includesexperiencing a wide array of emotions, which can include grief, anger, relief,pain, confusion, gratification-seeking, indignation, depression, anxiety,happiness, hopelessness, loss, neediness, frustration, attention-getting,withdrawal, loneliness, lifelessness, negativity, and more. If you areexperiencing some or all of these emotions, then congratulations -- itmeans you are normal. Even though almost half of all marriages in the U.S. end indivorce, studies have shown that divorce can also be one of the most stressfultransitions that most people will ever experience.

Divorce is one of those times in life when professionalcounseling is a very wise investment, because of the intensity and wide rangeof emotions. Usually, lots has happened that led to this point, and theguidance that a good mental health counselor can provide includes helping youmake sense of the emotions you are experiencing, processing and releasing the intenseemotions, and becoming centered again. Good divorce counseling can includehelping you achieve clarity and hope by helping you process your emotionsfaster without staying stuck.

Divorce counseling is different from collaborative divorce coaching. Collaborativedivorce coaches are trained in and focused on assisting the collaborativedivorce process. Coaching is mostly limited to identifying communicationspatterns, skill-building for the collaborative divorce process, providinginsights so the team can better facilitate reaching agreement, and some othernarrow tasks during the collaborative process. Unlike a counselor, there is noprivilege or confidentiality between coach and other team members; in fact,a coach must provide information to the other team members for the coach toprovide full value.

Therapists are licensed mental health professionals such aspsychiatrists, psychologists, psychoanalysts and social workers who work withpatients who have diagnosable medical and mental conditions. They often examinethe patient’s past to find root causes of current problems and helps the clientheal, recover and resolve issues. On the other hand, coaching is not clinicalin nature, is not based on a  diagnosis and does not usually delve intothe past except for background information. The focus of coaching is forwardmomentum.  Remember, coaching is not therapy. Clients are ultimatelyresponsible for all of their own choices and decisions in their lives that arediscussed in coaching sessions. 

The work you would do with your own therapist, with whom you would haveconfidentiality to the maximum extent allowed by law, will also differ from thework you do with your coach. Most people who have counseling during theirdivorce feel that it helps them greatly.