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It is common for women to experience fear after divorce.Note, however, that fear is simply False Evidence Appearing Real. The evidencein your mind is truly and utterly false because it does not exist at thismoment. Just like last night's dream was not real, your visions of future doomare not real either.
As a divorced woman, your life has shifted in a major way along with your plansfor it. You now must recreate your life, reset your goals and major decisionsare yours alone to make. As terrifying as this all can seem, fear should beused to serve as an awesome motivator and an invaluable strength-buildingmechanism. Facing fears head on must be seen as a challenge that you areanxious to embrace.
Even While You Fear – Take Action!
Consider your fears as a unique set of tests especially designed for yourgrowth and strengthening, and then take action! Don't worry too much abouteliminating your fears, which can take a lifetime to do, simply take actioneven as still afraid. Like jumping from a cliff into an inviting body of water,it is likely that you will always be afraid to do so as long as you arethinking about it. In fact, the longer you entertain your fears, the morelikely you are to talk yourself out of the plunge and walk away from thecliff's edge instead. But at some point, in order to enjoy the water'srefreshing coolness, you have to take your fears with you and jump anyway.Afterwards, you will find your strength and your confidence enhanced by theknowledge that you are stronger than your fears and you are capable of actioneven while afraid.
What is it that you are afraid of now? Perhaps it is a return to school for anadvanced degree. Perhaps you are afraid of taking a new position, changingcareers, moving to a new location or just of being the sole caretaker of yourchildren. Whatever your fears are, use them as a challenge. Make overcomingthem your mission as you forge ahead.
The following action steps are designed to help you face your fears after adivorce:
1. Plan to succeed. Do not allow yourself to be burdened with what ifs.Instead, target your goals and clearly define the steps that you will need totake to achieve them.
2. Do what you can today to place yourself in a better position tomorrow. Eachday, take action toward your goals in order to inch yourself closer to them.Even baby steps are fine as long as you are taking them in the right direction.
3. Take time to encourage yourself daily. Talk to yourself as you would a dearfriend or your children. Remind yourself that you are strong, that you arecapable and remind yourself of all that you have already overcome.
Millions of women have been where you are now. They have faced insurmountableodds, they have been terrified out of their wits and they have refused to leteither stop them. You can and you must do the same. You are powerful,competent, able-bodied and free to pursue every one of your dreams. You maymake mistakes along the way, but they will be counted as worthwhile lessons,which will sharpen your skills. Know this and, even as you are afraid, proceedanyway.
About The Author:
Vanaja Ghose www.leavingyourmarriage.compage_id=5) is a Professional Life Coach
helping women who chose to leave their marriage or long term relationship
and now want to powerfully recreate their lives. Vanaja helps people create
a new relationship with money that propels them to take action and stop
being an underearner. New Teleclass series starting soon:www.leavingyourmarriage.compage_id=192
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