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Posted on December 29, 2008 by drjcp | Posted under Religion
Forgiveness: A Biblical Perspective
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In the day to day life, most people are offended by the real or imagined misdeeds of others. Christians know that they must tackle such problems in the spirit of forgiveness, but most find it difficult to translate this principle into practice. Consequently, they delay taking action. This delay, instead of helping, only deepens the problem. Meanwhile the relaxed communication between the two parties might be affected seriously, hindering the possible forgiveness and restoration to fellowship. Scriptures explicitly say that without first cultivating forgiveness it is not possible to live in harmony with the brethren or even with oneself ! Gradually this destroys our own personal life. We ourselves suffer most. This might lead one anywhere from minor spiritual setbacks to major mental breakdowns. All the time we walk according flesh and invite God's wrath upon us. Forgiveness acts life a cleaner -- it clears the factor which were blocking the pipeline of communication with God and with man. It is foolish to hurt one's own life by non forgiveness. Unfortunately, most of the people who suffer from an unforgiving spirit do not know that their own attitude is the root cause of their problems. All what they know is that they just cannot tolerate certain people. This means that such a person is in perpetual bondage. He is not able to enjoy mental or spiritual freedom. As a consequence, he is the real looser while the person against whom he holds the grudge is rarely affected by all this. By its very nature, non forgiveness prevents Christians from maintaining a normal spiritual walk. They are giving themselves to the flesh rather than to the spirit. The consequences of a regular walk in the flesh are devastating. In Galatians 6:7-8 Paul says that a believer who walks according to the flesh is going to "reap destruction". Since an unforgiving spirit extends an open invitation to a walk in the flesh, every person harboring such feelings must be sobered after reading these lines. When unforgiven offenses are carried in one's heart for a sufficiently long period of time, it can cause spiritual downfall, mental instability, sexual incompetence, depression and serious mental disorders that might require the help of mature believers who are professionally trained in counseling. The recovery might take quite some time. Forgiveness is a very important constituent of a healthy and growing spiritual life. It is an act by which one decides from one's own side to unconditionally free the offender from any debt that he owes us. The other person does not even need to know about this act because one's purpose in taking this step is to free oneself, not the other person. The process of forgiveness includes at least three elements: an injury, a debt on the part of the person who caused the injury (intentionally or unintentionally), and a cancellation of that debt from our side. The first two are present in every hurt feeling. The last one is essential if one wants release from pain. FORGIVING OTHERS: Most of us become quite defensive in this matter and maintain that we are quite forgiving of others. But let us be honest. If we are revengeful or critical against some people, want to smash them into pieces, or if we cannot stand the presence of certain individuals, if we are eager to gossip against them, then there is every possibility that we still have not forgiven them. You might have been exploited, cheated, mocked, or criticized in the past, but if you have not forgiven the persons or situation, you are the real loser. In the past others injured you, but now you are perpetuating the self-injuring process. This is foolish, and if you realize that then the following steps will help you to come out of misery. The first step is to realize that God of mercy has shown infinite kindness in forgiving each one of us. Therefore, we must take steps to forgive with the same measure with which we have been forgiven. Thus we must set that offending person completely free from all obligations to us. Accept them as they are, and leave the process of changing them to God. Second, we must start viewing others as God's tools for our growth. If our life were free of interactions (good or bad) with others, we would not have grown even a bit in our lives. According to Romans 8:28 the Lord uses everything in our life for producing good. Let us not hinder this process by an improper spirit. Like Joseph in Egypt we must realize that "God meant it for good". Third, there is a possibility that we have been estranged from some people due to our unforgiving spirit. If so, we must re-establish communication links. On rare occasions we will have to ask forgiveness directly from others. But must exercise much caution lest this act become a stumbling block for the other person (who did not know anything about the offense we harbored in our hearts). The greatest difficulty in the process of forgiveness is to continually maintain this attitude. Whenever the person, whom one has forgiven, repeats his offensive activity, there is a human tendency to open the account of all his past crimes. This is foolish, and is a sure way to spiritual defeat. When Lord Jesus forgives, He also forgets. In the same spirit, we should forgive each and every new offense as quickly as possible, without reviving the forgotten past. FORGIVING OURSELVES: Some people are angry or annoyed with themselves for their own sins and shortcomings. It is possible that one or two particular sins dominate all their thoughts; the way they cheated someone, treated their brother/sister, child or spouse, witnessed falsely, or had an illegitimate affair in the past. It is necessary for such persons first to obtain the Lord's forgiveness, and then to forgive themselves. Of these two, the first comes as soon as a person confesses his sins and unrighteousness, but the second one -- forgiving oneself -- comes only with spiritual growth and maturity. Since many persons have never grown to this stage, they keep hating themselves all their lives resulting in a low self-esteem and self-image. They suffer from depression, lack of confidence, and even the spirit of criticism. They blame others to relieve their own guilt, but instead of solving the problem it only compounds it. Forgiving oneself is also a necessary part of spiritual balance. Else the person will turn out to be his own enemy, fighting against own self all life like a self-destructing gadget. MISUNDERSTANDINGS ABOUT FORGIVENESS: Several misunderstandings might block the processes of forgiveness and recovery. For example, performance-based attempt at obtaining God's forgiveness will not work. One cannot work to earn God's Forgiveness because it is an undeserved gift. There is a mistaken saying that "time heals all wounds". While time might cause one to forget many events in the past, the kind of problems about which we are talking in this article (hurts which need forgiveness) have a tendency to increase in vigor with time. One must take the correct biblical steps and not leave it to time. Forgiving others does not mean denying our hurts or rationalizing their behavior. Rather true forgiveness accepts everything honestly and then forgives and forget with the measure shown by Christ. Forgiveness mostly involves only the party who forgives. Confessing to others should take place only if the other party has requested it. Confessing to people who have no idea about one's sins and hurt feelings might cause more damage than good. CONCLUSION Not forgiving others builds up a pile of sins in our hearts. Hurt, resentment, bitterness, revenge and anger accumulate every day. Such a person might confess the sin one or more times without any assurance. As a consequence their conscience might become so guilt ridden that they become completely abnormal, back slidden or even mentally imbalanced. If the sin is still unconfessed, then one should confess it immediately. If this has been done in the past then one should confess it once again and one should also confess his unbelief in God's forgiveness. God forgives all confessed since, but one might lock assurance either due to unbelief or due to immaturity. But as one's intimacy with God increases, faith in God's forgiveness will grow gradually. If we do not forgive ourselves then we are inviting self induced misery, uncertainty in spiritual life, an ever present sense of unworthiness, excessive behavior, false humility and self deprivation. It is foolish to block the way to untold spiritual happiness by not confessing and then not forgiving ourselves. About The Author: Dr. Johnson C. Philip is a scientist and an acknowledged blogging guru having a worldwide following. |
Tags: CHRISTIAN APOLOGETICS, EVIDENCES, REAON AND FAITH, BIBLE SCIENCE, CREATIONISM, BIBLE PROOFS, BIBLICAL ARCHEOLOGY
