How To Deal With Delayed Ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation may be defined as recurrent inability to attain ejaculation despite lengthy sexual intercourse.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders(DSM-IV-TR), places this disorder among the sexual dysfunctions, along with premature ejaculation.

A man affected by delayed ejaculation cannot attain ejaculation even after a normal level of sexual excitement. The affected man may regularly experience problems in reaching ejaculation, or may be unable to attain orgasm altogether.

A normal orgasm is made up of two parts: emission and ejaculation. The term emission refers to a sensation of impending ejaculation caused by contractions of the prostate gland, seminal vesicles, and urethra associated with generalized muscle tension, perineal contractions, and involuntary pelvic thrusting. Ejaculation is succeeded by a period of resolution which is characterized by feelings of relaxation and well-being. There is also a refractory period. In this phase, men cannot normally respond to more sexual stimulation, will not become erect, and attain orgasm for a varying length of time.

Although we speak of orgasm and ejaculation as though they were identical, they are separate processes which almost always occur simultaneously.

What we call orgasm is a peak emotional and physical experience, whereas ejaculation of semen is just a reflex action Which occurs when we are aroused enough to stimulate a reflex occurring at the lower part of the spinal cord. Some men have been able to recognize the individual elements of the two processes, enabling them to experience ongoing multiple orgasms without the occurrence of ejaculation. Once ejaculation takes place, a period of time to recover is required before another orgasm can happen.

Orgasm differs between men, and individual orgasms may differ in the same person. All orgasms are marked by particular characteristics which include regular body and pelvic contractions, increased heart rate, more rapid breathing and the sudden release of tension.

Our sexual response cycle is under the control of a balanced interplay between the two major nervous systems, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic. The sympathetic nervous system prompts action whereas the parasympathetic system causes recovery and relaxation. In order for a penis to become erect, its smooth muscle fibres are relaxed and allow blood to flow into the penis. This process is mediated by an intricate system of humoral, neurological and circulatory events in which the parasympathetic nervous system plays a key role. Orgasm and ejaculation and the after effects of relaxation of the penis are predominantly functions of the sympathetic nervous system.

Emission is a parasympathetic activity, but orgasm and ejaculation are predominantly under the control of the sympathetic nervous system. We know that orgasm has more to do with the brain than with the body. The fact that orgasm occurs during sleep is supportive of this concept. In any event, this system may be disrupted by various abnormalities.

If delayed ejaculation only occurs under a particular set of circumstances, for example with only one sexual partner, it is known as "situational" rather than "generalized" delayed ejaculation.

The cause of delayed ejaculation
may be physical, but is more often some combination of psychological factors. The physical causes include hormonal problems such as hypogonadism, hyperthyroidism, hypothyroidism, and excessive production of the hormone prolactin. Other physical causes include some drugs, including drugs to treat high blood pressure, and antidepressants.

The most common causes of delayed ejaculation are psychological. Some likely candidates include depression, anxiety, and fear of getting the partner pregnant. Other possible factors include an unsatisfactory sexual relationship with one's partner, having been brought up in an atmosphere of strict sexual taboos in the family.

A diagnosis of delayed ejaculation depends on the following factors being noticeable: a persistent or recurrent delay in, or absence of, orgasm following a level of normal sexual excitement that would be expected to produce orgasm. Many men with delayed ejaculation also complain of anxiety, shame and frustration, and low sexual self-esteem. Although this particular sexual problem usually occurs during partner sex, it can happen during masturbation as well! If it occurs during masturbation, it's more likely to be about the man's body than any feelings associated with his partner. Male orgasmic disorder may be part of a complex of sexual malfunctioning that can range across erectile dysfunction, ejaculation problems such as premature ejaculation or retrograde ejaculation, and hypoactive sexual desire disorder.

Delayed ejaculation is found in all races and ethnic groups. It may develop around puberty or it may start later in life.

If some obvious physical cause is linked to male orgasmic disorder, the cure may be easy; for example, cessation of excessive drinking or a change in medications. But in most cases, some form of psychological treatment will be required. Since most men are too embarrassed to seek professional advice, the availability of self-help programs on the internet is a blessing. Treatment usually requires the support of the sexual partner for both the psychological and the physical aspects of the treatment. Behavioural programs can allow a man to recover the ability to ejaculate normally quite easily and quickly.

The author is the publisher of Overcoming Male Orgasmic Disorder. You can find more articles at Men Come First!.

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