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Posted on January 29, 2009 by Paul Friedman | Posted under   Marriage Wedding


How to End a Relationship and 6 To Do's To Attract The Person You Want in Your Next Relationship



Ending a relationship can be a traumatic experience even when both parties know it's time.

 Here are the 3 most important things to remember: 

 

1.    Being nice is always practical.

2.    Being honest is always essential

3.    Being yourself is always appreciated.

Here Are 6 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Right Away

1.    Q: Why did you get into a relationship in the first place?

A: You are looking for love.

2.    Q: Did you get into a relationship so that you can start a family?

            A: If so you are looking for love and the right match.

3.    Q: Did you take the time to describe for yourself what traits you were looking for?

A: A life partner or even a love partner should not be taken lightly.

4.    Q: Did you prioritize the traits that are most important to you?

A: Being clear about what you want requires introspection.

5.    Q: Did you test your current partner to see if they met your needs?

A: There is nothing wrong with testing someone before you commit to them.

6.    Q: Did you open yourself up too early in the relationship?

A: There is no obligation to have sex with someone before you're sure of your psychological and emotional compatibility.

Real life is nothing like the movies and television.  Finding the right person to spend the rest of your life with is a very serious matter.  If you don't use a system you place yourself in a position of tremendous risk.  There is no need to gamble in this area.  If you do the chance of suffering is much greater than the chance of having a loving harmonious and fruitful marriage.

Perhaps at this point the easiest thing for you to do to end your current relationship is to acknowledge that you didn't do the above implied recommendations.  Merely tell the person you didn't take the time to identify what was important to you, that you were attracted to them and in some ways still are, but want a serious relationship with a person who doesn't have to change in order to meet your own needs.  You may tell them with great certainty that people do not change after they get married, and the love felt is not enough to sustain the kind of life you want for your family.  Do not, I repeat, do not tell them the areas of incompatibility because they will take it as criticism.  Make it clear you won't tell them out of respect, and a desire to maintain a positive feeling about them, and from them, despite the need to end the relationship now.  Remain friends even if it means having to remain friends from a distance and never say a bad word about them to another.  Exit gracefully and graciously from a relationship with the person who you thought was a good enough person for you to even try it with.

Here Are 6 To Do's To Attract The Person You Want In Your Next Relationship!

1)    Make the list of specific traits I referred to above.

2)     Take your time.  List every potential positive trait you can think of and write them down (Some people take as long as a month before they feel comfortable that they got it all out).

3)      Next write down all of the traits that you do not want in a mate (take as long as you need).

4)      The next step is to prioritize your lists (Take your time.  At some point you will be comfortable and you'll really know the person who suits you).

5)      Highlight the top three or four on both lists (Don't settle.  Even if you are so shallow that blond hair is at the top of your list over other traits such as kindness or sweetness, know who you are and go for it).

6)     Pray for that person even though you haven't met them yet.  Don't be afraid to ask God to bring that person to you.

Now, as you look toward the future leave your past behind graciously and kindly.  Remember the person you are leaving deserves your respect and even sympathy.  You are a good person and you only want to do the right thing; for that I praise you.



About The Author:
Paul Friedman, author of Lessons For A Happy Marriage, entered into the business of helping couples mend their marriages after a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients: they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn't work. Read more on his relationship advice blog, at Lessons For A Happy Marriage.com


Tags: HOW TO END A RELATIONSHIP, RELATIONSHIP ADVICE, MARRIAGE COUNSELING, HAPPY MARRIAGE
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