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Posted on February 1, 2008 by James Walsh | Posted under Divorce
Is Fear of Divorce Preventing Marriage?
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Divorce and Its Consequences Divorce never occurs without causing a lot of pain and suffering to all those involved. People experience bitterness, anger, disillusionment and hurt in varying degrees. If children are involved, they are left bereft, confused and torn between the two people they love the most. A broken marriage also leaves people afraid to love or trust again and can affect how they establish any relationship in the future. It is easy to become cynical when one watches marriages fall like a pack of cards. Earlier, marriage was an aspiration for all young men and women and a natural state of being. However, single people are becoming extremely wary of committing to an institution that does not seem to have a high success rate. Unlike before, both men and women are financially independent and live life on their own terms. They work, travel, party and have a full life. To give up all that for marriage doesn't seem to be too appealing. There is an underlying fear in at least a few couples, who prefer to live-in rather than get married. They fear that the love and joy they seem to get from each other might disappear after marriage. The horror stories they hear from friends and family, who have got divorced, only serves to increase the fear. It is hard for unmarried people not to get affected by the number of people getting divorced. To get married, only to be divorced sooner or later, is not what young couples aspire towards. Benefits of Marriage Despite the increasing rate of divorce, and despite the increasing number of people preferring to live-in, one cannot deny that, by and large, marriage is still held in high esteem. Marriage is still considered a “holy" union and the most socially accepted institution, universally. When a marriage works, it is the best possible relationship that two people can have. It offers a sense of security, commitment, sharing and a common view for the future. Children from a happy marriage are born into a world of love and caring that gives them a confident start in life. Marriage offers a person a sense of direction and something to work around. When a man works hard all day, nothing can give him more satisfaction than coming home to a warm and happy family. A woman, no matter how independent, revels in knowing that she has a safe home and a secure future with her husband. Children thrive in an environment that is stable, strong and loving. A happy marriage is a strong foundation for a great future. As people get older and their interests and focus change, the pace of life gets slower and they have more time to enjoy the fruits of all their labour. At this point, having a partner who has shared common ups and downs and weathered storms definitely enhances a person's life, rather than being alone. Living-In Benefits People world over, are choosing to live-in, rather than marry. This they see as a way to escape the pitfalls of marriage. Living-in seems to offer longevity to relationships that modern day marriages do not. Modern couples with their individual careers and different interests find that living-in gives them more freedom and there are fewer expectations than in a marriage. Couples do not want to face the multiple consequences of divorce. Further, moving on from a broken relationship seems easier than moving on after a broken marriage. Overcoming Fear of Divorce To allow fear to base decisions on, is to live only half a life. While marriage does have its disadvantages, it has a great many advantages too. Instead of writing off the institution of marriage as doomed to fail, we need to work around the old rules. While the essence of marriage should remain the same, the old fashioned notions need to be reinvented. Marriage does not have to end in divorce if couples are willing to work at it. Fear of divorce could also be construed as unwillingness to make a relationship work. Even marriages in the old days required effort. If two people really want their marriage to work and are willing to do what it takes, divorce won't enter the picture! About The Author: James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see http://www.managed-divorce.co.uk |
Tags: MANAGED DIVORCE, DIVORCE, SOLICITOR
