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Posted on January 29, 2009 by Paul Friedman | Posted under Marriage Wedding
Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships
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The mind is sort of like a computer that connects you, the soul, to the world. It has two major parts, the upper mind and the lower mind. The upper mind can be thought of as the direct link to the soul while the lower mind is the direct link to the five senses, which feed information from the world. Because the upper mind is purity itself it is unruffled by contrary thoughts and feelings. But the lower mind is a whirlwind. Let me share a story with you that will help illustrate what happens to the soul when it comes into the world. Once there was a prince who lived in a beautiful palace compound surrounded by a very high wall. The compound was relatively vast, encompassing hundreds of acres. Because of all the luxuries, the prince had never known any of the sufferings associated with the world outside of the walls. His life was perfect in every way. But one day due to boredom he had the idea of going out into the world to see what it was like. Although his father was aware of his plans he knew his son had to learn for himself what the world was like and he didn't interfere. The son/prince, thinking he was very clever, chose a cool evening to execute his plan. He exchanged his clothes with those of his servant and slipped through an unguarded door into the world outside. As he wandered the streets taking in all of the unusual sites he heard a great deal of laughter coming from a tavern. Out of curiosity he went inside with a great smile on his innocent face. Once inside he was immediately taken as a naïve traveler and was immediately subject to the "royal" treatment afforded strangers on the regulars' turf. He was greeted warmly as if he was an old friend and he was given drink after drink. The next thing the prince remembered was waking up in the gutter with a huge headache. All of his fine jewelry was gone, his hair was a mess and he didn't smell anything like the prince of yesterday. The headache he had replaced his memory and he had no idea who he was. From there he wandered around the city trying to recall who he was and why he was so hungry and dirty. Some rude people gave him dirty looks and avoided him, while other more charitable people threw him a few coins. A few days later, as he became accustomed to his environment, he cleaned up as best he could in a public bath and sought out a job. Within a few months he had acquired a fine job and slowly began to learn a trade as a shoemaker. By now his father wanted his son back. So he sent out his most trusted nobleman to find him. Before long the nobleman found him, but couldn't believe his eyes when he saw the king's son working in a humble shop. The nobleman went up to him but the prince did not recognize him at all. The nobleman did everything he could to remind the prince of who he was but to no avail. When the nobleman repeated the incident to the king he was told to go back out and convince his son of his true nature... This is an illustration of the state of the soul. We have lost our way and lost our memory. But we are innately perfect and only temporarily confused. Our minds pick up all sorts of destructive habits and tendencies. But we are not our minds, we have minds. And it is up to us to remind ourselves that temporary negative qualities such as jealousy or anger are parasitic appendages rather than who or what we are. By recognizing attacks of jealousy as intrusions upon ourselves we can choose to push them away and reject them. Further, when a loved one is under attack by one of these evil assailants, instead of feeling defensive or victimized, we can assume the qualities of compassion and wait out our loved one's struggles. Never think of jealousy as part of yourself or anyone else. Jealousy, like other unwelcome intruders, can be pushed out by the owner of the mind. Tell your loved one you will always be there for them and say to them with the deepest sincerity of your heart, "I love you." About The Author: Paul Friedman, author of Lessons For A Happy Marriage, entered into the business of helping couples mend their marriages after a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients: they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn't work. Read more on his relationship advice blog, at Lessons For A Happy Marriage.com |
Tags: JEALOUSY AND INSECURITY IN RELATIONSHIPS, RELATIONSHIP ADVICE, MARRIAGE HELP, SAVE MARRIAGE
