Marriage Counseling can Hurt a Good Marriage

There are some people in theworld who are never satisfied; they want to find every little flaw and defectwherever they are.  Frankly, those arethe people I want to have building spaceships and bridges; don't you?  But those good folks need to understand thereis a time and a place for everything. The perfectionist type can drive all but the very patient crazy;especially those who do not leave room for other people's opinions.

The perfectionist type canbe found in both genders equally. Thankfully, it is very rare for perfectionist types to come together inmarriage.  Usually the perfectionist typeattracts someone who is patient, if not apathetic.  These types rarely rest until everything intheir lives is in perfect order.  Theycannot even walk into a room without noticing some flaw or another.  These types supply marriage counselors withplenty of business.  They are neversatisfied with some aspect or other of their relationship.  Rather than focusing on what is good, they bringthis useful trait for other parts of their lives into their marriagerelationship thinking it will be useful there too; it usually isn't.  In fact it is 99% destructive in marriages.

The unfortunate realityabout marriage counseling is that it generally leads to divorce.  Freudian-trained marriage counselors aretrained to give therapy for various psychological ills.  In a few cases the therapy they offer isuseful.  But marriages never needtherapy; couples merely need information. Most couples who run into trouble in their marriage do so for a verysimple reason: they didn't know what they were doing.  If couples learn what a marriage is and howto function in it, 98% of them will do just fine. 

Contrary to popular belief,marriage does not require work and does not produce suffering when the couplesknow what they are doing.

What a couple needs to knowin order to have a successfully happy or happily successful marriage is simpleand easy to learn.  Of course there arethose who would love to make a huge business out of helping couples stay happy;I don't care for those people.  To methose are people who are like those who would sell air, oil or water; it's justnot right.  In the years to come theknowledge of how to be happily married will be taught in public schools.  Children will learn about gender differencesand responsible human interactions.  Theywill also learn about the unique requirements for marriage including maritalloyalty, respect, support and communication.

If your marriage is good butnot great you will do more for you and your spouse by learning from my  LessonsFor A Happy Marriage than by going to see a marriage counselor.  Marriage counseling always starts by lookingfor the flaws.  You already know yourspouse's flaws!  Now you need to learn toappreciate them and your family while you learn how to make your marriage evenbetter.