Marriage Trouble, Relationship Problems and Faux Marriage Counseling

The other day I met withsomeone who could have described her situation as being in 'marriage trouble'. But"relationship problems and what happened after marriage counseling"would be more accurate. Although she and her partner were not officiallymarried they were together for over six years and saw themselves as married. Sowhen she called me she wasn't exactly sure how to encapsulate her situationover the phone. But no matter, we decided to meet with each other anyway.

Neither she nor hersignificant other read my book so when she was frustrated with her partner'sbehaviors she told him to go get counseling. Ouch!

Unfortunately the therapisthe found at the advice, ironically, from a friend of hers, really got into hisstuff. The therapist told him he had "closeness issues" (whatever theheck that means!) and shouldn't be in any relationship until he worked throughthem. When he asked her how long that would take she said about a year.

This poor guy took theadvice from someone he considered to be an expert, a professional (the title ofdoctor does inspire that), and he ended the relationship immediately. Did Iforget to mention there are a couple of children involved?

So four people's lives were completely disrupted based upon the advice of sometherapist who was obviously educated beyond her intelligence and completelylacked common sense.  It is my humble opinion that only an insensitiveidiot would take a man out of a perfectly natural situation within which hecould practice "closeness" (if he actually even needed to) and puthim in therapy to study it; yet these types of prescriptions are way too commonto be written off as an exception. Is it any wonder why people with marriagetrouble or relationship problems usually end up getting a divorce soon afterthey receive marriage counseling?

A 50% Divorce Rate Says it All

Just about everybodybelieves if you're having marital problems you should get counseling, and mostpeople do. So I will ask the obvious question. If most people are gettingmarriage counseling when they are having troubles in their marriage orrelationship why is there such a high rate of divorce? Are most people simplytoo stupid to be married? Is marriage meant to only be a place of suffering andendurance? Because, you know most people are not happily married. I can assureyou, I have worked with many people, including well-known Hollywood types, who are very good at hiding their marital problems. So what'sthe deal?

Even Simple Things Need to be Understood

Nobody gets behind the wheelof a car until they have been trained to drive and have been taught the basicsabout the construction of a motor vehicle. Yet public and private schools failto teach basic 'how to live' skills. Future husbands and wives can constructsentences and do basic algebra but know nothing of gender differences oressential interrelationship skills. Even the few very fortunate souls whonaturally understand what is required in a marriage are never asked the secretof their success because the joy they feel is not meant to be exposed to acallous world.

Your own situation is mostlikely much more simple to completely turn around than you can imagine. Theso-called fixes are natural and intuitive; they just need to be shown to you.Don't give up just because this crazy world tries to hide the joy you'reseeking in your marriage; you deserve it and you can have it. You will bepleasantly surprised at how unbelievably simple having a dream marriage is.