The Challenges of Interfaith Marriages

When two individuals getmarried they are combining families along with all of the traditions, joys,sorrows and prejudices that are part of their family's heritages. Interfaith marriages definitelycontribute to the complexity of combining families.

On the other hand when two come together in Holy matrimony they become thefoundation of future generations. This is a beginning of future generations andthe decisions of the newlyweds are what matters.

Interfaith Marriages don'tMatter to God

Marriage is an inventionof God's. Although God's laws are "defined" through religion His loveis the universal component in all religions and the most important reality.While one religion may suggest the worship of God while on your knees andanother religion has you standing up while you pray, both religions are prayingto the same God. It is the guidance of God's rules for happiness that helpedboth individuals become good people as interpreted through their family firstand religion second... right?

The families of both brideand groom sacrificed tremendously in order to protect and properly care fortheir respective children so when they suddenly announce their intention ofmarrying outside of their faith it is taken as a rejection of their values anda lack of appreciation for what they did; it is understandable. But it is not arejection of the parents, at worst it is an assertion of a new beginning.

The Spiritual Aspect ofGod and His Love Underlines all Religions and all Marriages
Marriage is a Spiritual Union

The couple who marries vowto each other with God as their witness, and it is God who sanctifies themarriage. The couple doesn't have to worry about who performs the marriageceremony; it will still be a Holy matrimony. But they do have to decide howthey will raise their children.

Future Parents mustMake Decisions for their own Family

A universal reality is thatonce a couple joins together in matrimony and leaves the house of their parentsthey begin a new family and new lineage. Sometimes parents don't understandwhat that means at first. Because of their love and attachment they insist uponcontinuing to impose their own values on the new family that they consider tobe an offshoot of their own, and it is. But it is independent, taking root inits new soil, and the new couple must choose for themselves the destiny oftheir family.

It is wise and loving forparents to be supportive of whatever decision the couple makes and not try toinfluence them.

It is very important forthe future parents to decide how their children will be raised. After all,marriage in the faith of the children is creating consistency and security forthem. Putting off the presumed "shock" is not helpful. Your parentsdeserve the consideration of your honesty. If they reject you because of yourdecision you must understand that you knew when you started dating outside yourfaith that yours may become an interfaith marriage. You chose to put yourfuture in your own hands even if it meant partial or total rejection from yourparents and now is not the time to judge them. Let them have time for thereality to sink in. Let them come to a resolution in their own mind and intheir own way; no selling or cajoling.

Your Family will beDefined by the Values you Adhere To

Now is the time topractice the art of discussions. In my book LessonsFor A Happy Marriage I help coupleslearn the art of marital discussions. You may wish to review the principles andtechniques found there. But in the meantime remember some very important points

1) Be nice - control yourbehavior no matter how you feel
2) Be understanding - no one has a handle on ultimate truth except God 
3) Be loving - care deeply for all you interact with