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Posted on October 8, 2007 by James Walsh | Posted under   Divorce


The Lost Children



Ever since the news media publicized the fact that poverty rates in the UK have gone up among children, this matter has become very important. The sad part is that, despite all the hot air, children are still neglected when it comes to the hard facts of the day. Perhaps, this is because they cannot vociferously claim their rights unlike the adults.

Custody and the Battle over it

Under the existing laws of the land, there are the following types of custody available for the parents who wish to divorce.

- Single Custody with Visitation: This is the most common format. A parent, usually the mother, takes the child with her to live under one roof. The other parent may visit the child, or even take the child out and keep in touch over net, phone etc. The parent who keeps the child will be paid a sum of money as maintenance by the other parent. However, these circumstances change from case to case. The father may also keep the child. The parent who is supposed to pay may not be in a condition to do so.
- Single Custody without Visitation: This happens in rare cases. But if the non-custodian parent has been found to be unfit for parental responsibilities, then the visitation rights may be suspended or curtailed accordingly. Sometimes, the parent concerned may be a drunkard, drug addict, convict, or a resident of another country without legal rights to stay on.
- Joint Custody: In this case, both parents have the rights over the children, who take turns in living with them. This may sound better on the face of it, but may not be so. If the parents do not have a good understanding and the rules of the two houses are too disparate, then the children may end up being more disturbed and confused.
- State Custody: In case one parent is absent / non-resident of the UK, and the other parent is unwilling to take the charge or is not in a position to do so, the state takes charge of the child. Then the child may be kept in a state children's shelter at state expense. In some cases, especially if the child is extremely young, he or she may even be adopted.

Apart from these, there are some other types of settlement also being made by parents in the UK.

- Nesting: Under this concept, the idea of joint custody is made more beneficial for the child. The children remain in the parental home they were used to, while the parents take turns in coming over and staying with them. This has proved especially good for couples who have broken apart on grounds of infidelity. One partner may want to live with his or her present partner, while the other may want to shift elsewhere, to avoid the memories associated with that region. Cohabiting couples also find this a good option.
- Staying with Grandparents: Sometimes, a child might feel better living with grandparents instead of with his or her biological parents. Not just post-divorce, but also during the divorce proceedings, the grandparents can physically and emotionally shield the child from the stormy home atmosphere during the split. Counsellors and social scientists have also been urging this trend as a healthy one. It is better for the child than going away with strangers or living in a household at war.
- The Early 'Empty Nest' Syndrome: Parents have felt lonely and sometimes even depressed when children have left for college or work in another city. Now this ancient phenomenon is converting itself as children below the age of 18 are also leaving the parental home, either put off by their squabbles or because they can't bear the situation after divorce. As a result, they try to live on their own and maintain only a cursory contact with home. This trend is on the rise.

Pets and Custody

It has been noticed that, recently, pets have taken precedence over even children in divorce disputes in the UK! Apparently, women have won 59% of all pet custodies, men have won 4%, and in the remaining cases, the pet has either been given away to state or private custody or the child has taken charge of it. In case of children's pets, who wins custody of the child, takes care of the pet too.



About The Author:
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com


Tags: DIVORCE, DIVORCE ADVICE, DIVORCE UK, QUICK, AFFORDABLE
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