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By: Jim Favor
A variety of relationships will go by the wayside and most will fail in the longevity department because the signs of a controlling relationship are not acted upon. Why is that? This article will display some areas of our psychological makeup that might help explain this type of situation. The fact of the matter is that these signs need to be paid attention too and if you can act accordingly then it might help you discover the root reasons why your relationship is headed in that direction. It doesn't matter if your relationship has been short term or long term these principle behaviors apply in all relationships. Knowing that the longer you've been in a relationship the harder it is for you to recognize what is happening and that is very tough to oversee. Being cognizant is the initial first step in helping yourself out of a bad situation if need be. Having a controlling behavior pattern is one of the primary characteristics that a relationship may have that is destined for failure from the beginning. Why does this happen to us? Undoubtedly if you're self esteem is low and if you've been a social outsider could be one of the reasons why you're still in the relationship. This type of behavior can take on different dimensions of control. Overt control and covert control. Both patterns of control have one objective in mind. Yep, you guessed it do it my way. Overt control is the type of behavior that is outward in the form of physical abusiveness, verbal abuse, criticism and the like. Covert control is the type of behavior that people don't see outwardly, such as compliance, and justifying the actions and behavior denying that anything is wrong. No matter what you say to yourself, controlling behavior is the initial psychological sign that you should be aware of and you should take steps to understand what is really happening. Controlling the resistance. This type behavior is actually beneficial because the person being controlled is actually aware of the technique and is trying to establish their own identity. But understanding is not compliant between the two parties and if there isn't a mutual understanding nothing will change. Knowing that the key to success here is communication between the two people. Absolutely no one likes to be made a slave for any reason and if a person feels trapped then they may rebel in the form of not participating in activities, being lethargic and generally not being there for their mate. That is the way to combat the issue of controlling techniques from the partner. If the relationship turns out in this direction then you can rest assured that until communication is established on a personal level that nothing will change. This article has identified just a couple of aspects concerning signs of a controlling relationship and is by no means the end of the list. By being aware of at least some of the issues will definitely help you in understanding yourself and the relationship that you may be in.
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