When Not to Date

Let’s face it, we’ve all had those times in our lives when we just didn’t feel like going out on a date, even a first date. There are many reasons why we get these feelings, and some of them are very legit reasons to not go on the date, but then we start to second guess ourselves. What if he is the one and if I don’t go I’m going to end up being alone for the rest of my life?

Of course those feelings of “what if” make you decide to suck it up. You fix up your hair, throw on the make up and head out the door. What happens at the end of one of these episodes? The majority of the time you had a horrible evening, pretending to be enjoying yourself, and you come home feeling even worse than you did to begin with.

Dating can be tons of fun, but it can also be very difficult, and at times even brutal. Just like in sports, to be successful with the dating game, you need to be on the top of your game. Do you think that Michael Jordan had as much success as he did by sitting on his couch all day long eating bon bons? I think not. He worked out daily, balanced himself mentall and physically, and made sure he was in tip top shape on game nights.
However, unlike Michael, who was being paid millions of dollars to play each and every game no matter how he was feeling, you have the option of cancelling when you are not feeling at the top of your game. As women, we are all aware that there are times when it is best that we are just left to ourselves and not put out there to deal with others. Maybe some of the times described below fit well into the category of when to just leave you alone.

You are feeling lonely and depressed. It seems reasonable to think that when you are feeling alone and depressed that going out would be a great way to get you to bounce back. You’d be spending time with a potential new boyfriend and this would have to make you feel better, right? I think not. When we are lonely and depressed, we are not thinking like we normally think, we might have cloudy judgement. It’s times like these where we end up going on a date with a man that is all wrong, just because we are lonely and have clouded judgment.

Now, that feeling of lonliness can build up and make you experience that time in your life that we’ve all hit – you’re desperate. Being desperate does not automatically stem from being single for awhile. There are many single women out there that are quite happy go lucky and neither lonely nor desperate. However, when you are desperate and decide to go on with the first date, you may find yourself doing the famous “drunk dialing”, begging that man that was all wrong for a second chance. Is this really what you think will make it alright?
How about the times when you feel like crap? You are coughing up a lung, you have a sore throat, your nose won’t stop running. Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think these fit into the category of acceptable date accessories. If you’re sick, you have no reasong to go out on a date, stay home. If you don’t make your date sick, then you get stuck in one of those awkward situations where he goes in for the kiss and you can’t breathe because your nose is all stuffed up. Yeah, we’ve all been there. Not our best moments, so it’s better to just stay home and reschedule for when you’re feeling better. Remember that being on the top of your game?

So your last relationship ended in a way you hope it wouldn’t and you still can’t stop thinking about him or wanting to be with him. Face it, you’re in the you’re not over him phase of life. You spend hours bashing him in your head. What an idiot he is. How could he leave me for her? What does she do or have that I don’t? Reality is she now has him and her dignity. If you are still stuck in the world of your ex, you have not right going in to the world of another man. If you go on the date when you’re like this, you’re not going to have fun. Why? Simply because the guy is not him and never will be. Should you be on the date? No, you need to be back at your house, sitting on your couch with your bon bons and best friends sharing your sad sob stories. When you’re not over him, stay at home.

If you need to visit the local liquore store or drink just one more cocktail just to get you in the mood to go on the date, then you’re falling into that drunk category. If you’re in one of those drunk moods, you need to just plop yourself down on your bed and stay home. Be sure to text the man you were supposed to go on the date with your regrets. When you’re in the drunk state you are in no position to go on a date because you won’t be you, you’ll have that clouded judgement again, and you’ll probably end up doing something you’d regret. Stay home.
Dating is fun, but it’s also brutal. Be sure you know the times when it is better to stay home than go out, and you’ll have much more success in your dating life.

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